when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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