1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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