Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize