now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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