the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize