Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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