Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Can I color on your dick again?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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