The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize