We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize