you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
