"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
