where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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