Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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