Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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