Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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