I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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