i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize