Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize