I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
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Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
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Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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