turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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