I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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