We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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