So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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