my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
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Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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