dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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