nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize