She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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