Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize