I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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