I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize