Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
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I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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