you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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