i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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