the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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