you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize