If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
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well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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