Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize