I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
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Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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