We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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