u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My balls are so social today.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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