i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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