I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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