I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize