I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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