I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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