I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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