I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
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Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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