I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize