Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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