I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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