somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it hurts more in the daytime
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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