TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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